A horrifyingly honest account of my future travels
Five pounds gained. Handfuls of hair: gone. My pre-venture anxiety acting up and showing in more ways than I would like. That being said … ten days and counting until I board my 8 a.m. flight to endure a 24 hour travel day until finally arriving in Bangkok, Thailand.
For those of you who don’t know, I will be traveling to Thailand through a program provider to teach English for the next year. My journey initially began after researching any and all ways to avoid the typical 9-5 workforce post-graduation. Having been less than disappointed with my “higher” education and feeling rather lost upon entering the real world, I figured I just wouldn’t. I have been working at Sunrise Senior Living as a concierge/dining room care manager/dishwasher/cook and any other job they threw my way in order to pay, initially, for my trip.
I’m not sure where I’m going, what grade I’m teaching or how I’m going to adapt once I’m there. My six months studying abroad ended abruptly to say the least, and the endless flow of tears until my arrival in Kansas City made me realize that my next adventure needed to be in the making, and soon. That being said, here we are again.
I do need to address something. To any readers who may be feeling like the fact that I’m leaving makes you less significant in my life somehow: that could not be further from the truth. If I seems like I’m avoiding my inevitable departure and how it will hurt you … I am. Ignorance is bliss, and making to-do lists and purchasing travel organizers are much easier tasks to endeavor than discussing how it feel not seeing you for a year. There needs to be some sort of separation established between the idea that me leaving and needing to do this somehow correlates with the untruthful notion that the people in my life are somehow replaceable or less loved because of it. That being said, you all will be greatly missed (well, most of you).
I’m writing this blog because I wish I had written one while I was in Ireland. I also feel as though the best way to make sense of everything I’ll be going through is to document it and sort through it on an outlet I know others will be seeing. A private journal is a must, but having an online platform will keep my thoughts in check, per se. I also sometimes really hate myself when I go back and read my journal, and I hope I don’t feel that way on here.
My mere love for travel has not been the only conributing factor when deciding to teach in Thailand. There are many things I am passionate about. You all might be thinking that partying is one of them, but alas, I can be more than what meets the eye. I am not one to avoid news broadcasts because of what I see. Instead, I tune in and feel physically ill while watching, thinking what could I possibly do to help the thousands of atrocities occurring every minute. I have felt so utterly useless in times where my work and efforts have done nothing more than produce assignments for grades or to simply receive a paycheck every two weeks. While I am lucky enough to have had the opportunity to get an education and have been employed, there has to be something more I could do, right? I feel as though this might be a step in the right direction.
Working with the senior population this past summer makes me realize that we could do good anywhere we are, or at least try to. It makes Mary’s day when she gets her dried toast and hot coffee right after she finishes her scrambled eggs. Lorena loves nothing more than to be put right up next to the community dog and feed her biscuits from her room. Sometimes you don’t have to travel across the world to do good by someone.
While my heart is heavy with all that is wrong with the world, I think this experience will not only help those I teach but will also help me learn a bit more about myself, grow up a little and meet some amazing people along the way. I’m normally more humorous than this, but as my departure date gets closer, my thoughts grow a tad bit more somber realizing the people and comfort I’m leaving to do this. That being said, LET’S DO THIS! More (uplifting) posts to come soon, but for now, thanks for hanging in there (were pushing 700 words here) and more details to come soon about my departure and, finally, arrival in Thailand.
Doesn’t my passport photo look like former governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich?
