Reality check vs. recovery: the truth about teaching

Is there anyone who is here for their first recovery meeting? Please introduce yourself by your first name only. We want to welcome you now.

Hello, my name’s Kelly, and I’m recovering from the misconceptions I previously had about teaching.

Hi, Kelly.

The problem started when I was in college. I was envious of my peers whose final exam involved coloring. When the finals piled up, and the papers needed writing and everything else that comes along with the stresses of pursuing a university degree was all but wrapping its metaphorical hands around my throat, I always wished I would’ve become a teacher.

If only I was an education major, I dreamt to myself.

After having been a teacher for about four months here in Thailand, I realize how completely and utterly wrong I was. I know and feel the misconceptions like I can feel sweat fall from the crevices of my body on one of Thailand’s more brutal days; like I can feel a hangover; like I can feel anything, really.

I know and feel the misconceptions because I used to believe them.

What could possibly be so hard about teaching something you already know? We all went to elementary and high school, and even university, so anyone can become a teacher, right?

I’m wrong about a lot of things. I make mistakes. I hurt people. And on a (slightly) humorous note, I continue to lose my phone. Three phones to be exact … but really, God is playing some sick joke with me here when it comes to cell phones, right? Anyway.

I looked at these people who were education majors, looked down upon, even, while they posted statuses about being excited and overjoyed to work in schools and teach third, fourth, fifth grade and I thought to myself: anyone can do that. Anyone with half a brain, a cute haircut and a knack with kids can go into a classroom and teach what we have all previously learned in one way or another.

It was this reasoning that led me to believe that traveling to a foreign country to teach English would be a breeze. Hell, I speak English, and I studied abroad for a stint. What could go wrong? I could, essentially, go up in front of a classroom of students and speak English and call it good.

I could fake my way through this education system long enough to explore Thailand, make some extra cash and be done with it. Mind you, that’s not why I came here. I honestly did believe I could make a difference; that English was as good a chance as any that my students had to make a better life for themselves. While I do still believe that learning English is important, especially in Thailand, in no way, shape or form is teaching, whether the subject be English, social studies, science or anything else for that matter, an easy ordeal.

I can’t explain to you the effort it takes to rally a classroom who couldn’t be bothered with the subject material. I can’t describe the amount of time you put into lesson plans that blow up in your face the first period you attempt it. The sinking feeling in your stomach when not a single student listens to you feels like that of a horrible breakup: the pit that circles in your abdomen making it hard to breathe as you stand there wondering if you should prepare you vocal chords to get their attention or simply give up, slip your blistered feet out of your shoes and wait at your desk until the bell rings.

For now, I throw in the towel. I loved teaching, I really did. But I’m moving on. And I’m tired. And I’m sorry for ever judging anyone who ever became or wants to become a teacher, because you deserve so much more.

So, that being said, I haven’t had misconceptions about teaching for four months now.

We thank you, Kelly, for sharing tonight. If any of you were not able to share, please share with someone after the meeting.